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This Heat is Unreal! 4 Reasons to Stay Inside!

This Heat is Unreal! 4 Reasons to Stay Inside!

There a few things that discourage our will to live; but lately there has been a fight between Donald Trump’s presidency (or lack of) and the nearly homicidal heat here in the 242.

We don’t know what happened, one day it was cool and rainy and the next day the heat god obviously assassinated the cold god here in the Caribbean and now we are here stuck with ‘white jockey only’ weather. Literally for the first time in my lifetime in the Caribbean there was a heat warning issued by the weather department, which made the whole country scream out a collective WTF?! (and Donald Trump still believes Global Warming is fake).

That warning from the MET office came with a few suggestions one being take cold showers (that we hope will take the teen pregnancy rate down) and stay inside more! So we decided to help you out with the last part!

4 Reasons To Stay Inside during the Heat Wave!

Netflix & ‘Chill’

This one literally only applies to those with A/C in your house or car and your own internet (not data – thats runs out). You can definitely swing the girl or guy of your dreams to come over now and hang out and catch an episode or two with just the allure of air conditioning, especially if they still live with their ‘Ma’ and don’t pay no bills! Netflix or the Android Box is your friend for the next few weeks with the release of the new Season of House of Cards (at least America can now see how a real president rolls) and a new personal favorite of mine ‘Animal Kingdom’ that airs on TNT but you Android Box folks can grab it on Kodi. Both great series that will keep your mind off the heat and if your AC and BPL cooperate…get you some!

Your Relationship (The Real One)

Some of ya’ll people who supposedly in a relationship with each other really don’t spend no quality time together (just the two of you). I mean social media got ya’ll minds so warped, that pictures together means things are popping in the real world! No! So while it’s good and hot and not advisable to be in direct sunlight, sit your butts down on your grammy’s couch (which likely still has the plastic on it) and work on your togetherness. It may be an old boo or a new bae who just happens to be an AC technician (#winner) and see what the world is like with out likes and hashtags. Trust me getting to know someone is still a very cool thing to do, even in this HOT ASS weather.

© Andrew Zaeh | ZAEH, LLC

Social Media Beefs 

Well we thought all the drama was done after the FNM laid the smack down on the PLP in the latest round of “Who Wants To Switch Governments” here in The Bahamas, but no, the political beefs are more alive than ever. With Minnis running audits in every government department and the FNM basically outing the PLP’s bad spending practices for the whole country to see, the PLP Online Petty Force headed by Fred Mitchell is taking no prisoners. It is still on and poppin’ between the FNM supporters and the PLP supporters on social media and we live for the drama!

If politics is not your cup of Team why not watch the battle of “Who Can Hurt Your Feelings More” starring Cindy Patrice Daxton and Chrissy Love, where the two have found the most flattering things to say about each other and have used their Facebook followings to spread the message of LOVE – LOL. Let’s just say if you added beeps to Cindy’s or Chrissy’s online rants, the only word you might just hear is ‘and’ (lol). plenty cussin’, plenty rowin’, and all the drama you need to keep you indoors and glued to your computer screens!

It Just Ain’t Safe!

Despite the regular robbing going on around this lil’ town we are sure to see an increase in crime since all the police just got that ‘lil ting.’ There is nothing like overtime pay to cause you to either take vacation to go shopping or lock your self in a cold comfortable room to regret your choices from all the online shopping you are going to do. We really pray and hope that everyone stays safe, but there’s just no guarantee our police officer friends are focused with all that loose cash running through their fingers now!

Can’t say we didn’t try to help you beat the heat! What are your “stay-the-hell-inside-and-out-of-the-heat techniques”?! Share below!

© 2020 eLIFE 242 Magazine. All Rights Reserved.

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